Trying Not to Write a Book

I have never been good at being brief. When I have something to say, I tend to say it thoroughly. So earlier this year, I gave myself a challenge: try to write shorter blogs.

Friends gently mock my preference for verbosity.  On social media, someone will make a comment about needing a long weekend to get through my latest blog. And I admit, there is something in this. My “Mathematics Manifesto” blog came in at around 106 pages. That followed a long line of essays-posing-as-blogs, including my multi-part “Mastery” series and the sprawling “What is an education for?”

I just prefer this kind of writing; it gives me the chance to play with a story and slowly explore my own thinking.  But I also want to improve my skillset.

Knowing this was a weakness, I began deliberately experimenting with short-form writing. For the past couple of months, I have been writing shorter blogs.  This means having to land on a topic for discussion every week and knocking together something in short form, all the while my mind is yearning to write a book. They feel more like opinion pieces than essays, which is way out of my comfort zone. And I am not at all sure I am any good at them.

I managed to convince myself I might enjoy the brevity, but I haven’t found it easy or enjoyable. If anything, I have found it frustrating.

These shorter pieces don’t come naturally. I feel… what is it? Exposed, I guess.  Exposed without the safety of a long, reasoned scaffold. I feel I have not had time to earn the point I am arguing for. In long form, I can lay a foundation, explore multiple perspectives, anticipate and address criticism in advance, and play more thoroughly with the ideas. Whereas, in short form, it feels like there is nowhere to hide. I look back at recent posts and think: “That is not really what I meant,” or “That did not land well.” I am uncomfortable with that, but I think discomfort was, in part, the point of the experiment.

Whenever one finds something one is not yet good at, the response should be to learn and improve.  I have never understood people who do not want to be a better version of themselves.

I will continue this weekly experiment not because I enjoy it, but because I believe in growth. And for me, that means striving, always, to be a better version of myself tomorrow than I was today.