The Hijacking of Our Time: How Social Media Steals Our Attention and What We Can Do About It

In an ironic twist, the most popular post I made on Twitter last month was one in which I described how the platform deliberately steals our attention. I received a lot of comments and questions about that post, which consumed my attention and led me to write this longer piece.

The platforms that may have once been designed to connect us have increasingly become tools for distraction, monopolising our attention and distorting our focus. Consider the familiar scenario: you catch a glimpse of an intriguing Tweet, only to find your feed suddenly refreshes, leaving you unable to find the post ever again. This frustrating experience is not an accident. It is a feature, not a bug, of a system meticulously designed to keep us scrolling, searching, and engaging.

The Design of Distraction

At the heart of social media platforms like Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram is a single, powerful goal: to increase the amount of time we spend on the platform. This is not a byproduct of their design but rather the primary objective. Algorithms are optimised to capture and hold our attention for as long as possible, utilising features like infinite scroll and disrupted feeds that are inherently distracting. When I posted the Tweet about this issue last month, I had that day read Johann Hari’s book Stolen Focus, in which he argues that our ability to concentrate is being systematically undermined by these very technologies, aligning with our observation that these platforms are built to maximise engagement, not user satisfaction or well-being.

The introduction of infinite scroll was a significant breakthrough for these platforms, allowing users to consume an endless stream of content without the friction of having to click through pages. Disrupted scrolling, where the feed refreshes and changes the visible content, further deepens this engagement by tapping into the user’s natural desire to complete a task or find the missing content they briefly caught a glimpse of. These features create an environment where users are perpetually distracted, unable to focus deeply or engage meaningfully with any one piece of content.

Johann Hari is not alone in this critique. Cal Newport, in his books Deep Work and Digital Minimalism, argues that the internet and social media are designed to fragment our attention and distract us from more meaningful activities. He suggests that these platforms are the antithesis of environments that allow for “deep work”—the kind of focused, uninterrupted effort that leads to meaningful accomplishments and personal satisfaction.

Exploiting Negativity Bias

Humans are wired with a negativity bias—a tendency to pay more attention to negative experiences or information. This bias is a survival mechanism, helping us to remember and avoid dangers. Social media algorithms, designed to increase engagement, exploit this bias by promoting content that triggers strong emotional responses. As a result, our feeds are often filled with divisive, shocking, and even hateful content. Jonathan Haidt has highlighted how social media algorithms amplify negative content, creating environments that are particularly toxic for younger users. He points out that while there might not be a “bad actor” deliberately aiming to harm users, the systemic incentives of these platforms naturally lead to these harmful outcomes.

Similarly, Jean Twenge’s research on Generation Z, or “iGen” the term she neatly coined for those who came of age in the time of smart phones, reveals a troubling correlation between the rise of social media and increased rates of anxiety, depression, and suicide among adolescents. She argues that the constant exposure to social comparison and the perpetual barrage of negative content is particularly damaging to young people’s mental health. The algorithms’ bias towards engagement means that what is most likely to keep us hooked—negativity, outrage, and conflict—dominates our feeds.

Nicholas Carr, in his book The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains, explains how constant engagement with social media reshapes our cognitive processes, making it harder to engage in deep, focused thinking. Carr’s insights echo those of Sherry Turkle, who, in Alone Together and Reclaiming Conversation, discusses how digital communication—often shallow and fragmented—undermines our capacity for deep connection and empathy. Both authors highlight how social media’s design for maximum engagement diminishes our ability to focus and meaningfully connect with others.

Jaron Lanier, a pioneer of virtual reality and a vocal critic of social media, argues in Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now that these platforms manipulate behaviour and distort human relationships by exploiting psychological vulnerabilities. He advocates for a more ethical approach to technology that respects users’ autonomy and well-being. Lanier’s perspective is shared by Cathy O’Neil, author of Weapons of Math Destruction, who explores how algorithms—whether in social media or other areas—can perpetuate harm by reinforcing biases and manipulating behaviour.

Tristan Harris, a former Google design ethicist and co-founder of the Centre for Humane Technology, has been vocal about how social media platforms are designed to exploit psychological vulnerabilities. He argues that these platforms manipulate users into staying online longer than they intend, using tactics that exploit our innate desires for social validation and our susceptibility to outrage and fear. His work underscores the ethical implications of designing technology that prioritizes profit over user well-being.

A Need for Ethical Design and User Agency

It is easy to imagine a world where social media platforms foster positive, meaningful connections and promote truth and joy over hate and mendacity. As I pointed out in the Tweet I posted last month, it is technically feasible to design algorithms that prioritise user well-being over engagement. However, achieving this balance requires overcoming some challenges. Algorithms that promote truth and joy must navigate complex issues of subjectivity and context, as well as the demand of maintaining user engagement without resorting to emotionally charged content.

In his book, Hari draws on conversations with of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, a long-time hero of mine when I am thinking about designing educational programmes, whom I have written about on several occasions over the years.   Csikszentmihalyi’s concept of “flow,” a state of deep focus and immersion in an activity that brings joy and fulfilment is clearly the opposite to what is being induced by social media use. Instead of fostering environments where we can focus deeply and meaningfully, social media platforms are built to keep users constantly flitting from one distraction to the next.

Adam Alter, in his book Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked, explores how technology, including social media, is intentionally designed to be addictive. He discusses how these platforms tap into basic human instincts for reward and recognition, leading to compulsive use that disrupts our ability to focus and achieve flow. This aligns with Csikszentmihalyi’s idea that environments conducive to flow are characterized by clear goals, immediate feedback, and a balance between challenge and skill—conditions rarely found in the world of social media.

I believe Csikszentmihalyi’s concept of “flow” provides a useful framework for understanding what is missing in our current social media experience. Flow is achieved when individuals are fully immersed in an activity that is both challenging and rewarding, leading to a sense of fulfilment and intrinsic motivation. Social media, by design, prevents users from achieving flow, instead fostering an environment of constant, shallow engagement.

If we are to create a healthier online world, social media companies must be willing to prioritise ethical design practices that consider the psychological impact of their platforms. This could mean creating features that encourage longer, more meaningful interactions or that promote content designed to uplift and inform rather than shock and divide. Johann Hari, in his calls for a redesign of technology, pleads for our societal well-being to take precedence over maximising profit and engagement.

However, clearly the responsibility does not rest solely with the tech companies. Individuals must take greater control over their digital habits. While platforms are designed to be addictive, users can mitigate their impact by being cognisant of their social media consumption. Reducing screen time, curating their feeds, and focusing on real-world interactions can help counteract some of the negative effects of social media. Personally, I use a setting on my phone to restrict my use to under one hour per day, which seems more than ample to me. As Csikszentmihalyi suggests, achieving states of flow requires environments that allow for sustained focus and engagement—something we are all capable of finding if we have the desire and determination to do so, even in the digital age.

Toward a New Paradigm

Ethan Zuckerman, in Mistrust: Why Losing Faith in Institutions Provides the Tools to Transform Them, discusses the ethical implications of social media algorithms and their role in shaping public discourse and behaviour. He suggests that while these platforms have the potential to foster positive social change, they often do the opposite by amplifying division and eroding trust. But it does not have to be this way, does it?

What can we do about it?

The answer lies partly in our hands as consumers and, ultimately, the drivers of revenue models.

There is a growing movement calling for ethical tech development. If enough users demand platforms that prioritise well-being over engagement, companies will rethink their algorithms and design choices to follow the money.

Johann Hari and Jonathan Haidt advocate for greater awareness of how social media manipulates our attention and emotions. By understanding these mechanics, we can become more careful users, setting boundaries and choosing when and how to engage with these platforms.

Cal Newport and Adam Alter suggest practical steps, like adopting a more minimalist approach to technology and being aware of the cues that trigger addictive behaviours. Sherry Turkle and Nicholas Carr recommend reclaiming conversation and re-engaging with activities that promote deep thinking and meaningful social connections. Jean Twenge also offers practical advice: limit screen time and engage in more offline activities that promote real-world connections and mental health.

Furthermore, a cultural shift back towards valuing nature, intentionality, and real-world relationships over digital immersion could help mitigate some of the adverse effects of current social media practices. By fostering environments where deep focus and meaningful engagement are possible, it is possible we can reclaim our attention and use technology to enhance our lives rather than detract from them. But the clock is ticking and action is hard to call for from adults who are also hooked.

The Impact on Children

It is clear that a paradigm shift is needed—both in how social media platforms are designed and in how they are used. Haidt and Twenge suggest that we must be more aware of how these platforms affect us and our children, and have long been calling for more ethical practices across the tech sector if we are to protect the mental health of our children. For years, those of us who have been arguing this case have been thought of as luddites or overreacting.  Twenge’s intergenerational work has long pointed to the correlations but the evidence is now so compelling we know that we’re actually talking about causation.

It is clear to me that technology, particularly social media and smartphones, has caused more damage to this generation of children than any other form of harm. The accessibility and addictive nature of these technologies are eroding children’s ability to focus, learn, and develop healthy social skills. In my view, children under sixteen should have zero access to social media or smartphones. Parents who allow their children to use these technologies are, most often unknowingly, failing in their role as protectors of their children’s development and well-being. It is not coincidence that those individuals most involved in the creation of these technologies – especially those who understand the algorithms – go to great lengths to keep their own children away from its reach.

A Collective Effort: A Role for Schools and Governments

The magnitude of this problem is so vast that it is unrealistic to place the burden solely on parents—many of whom are themselves caught in the web of digital addiction. To break this cycle, schools and governments need to play an active role in creating a healthier world for our children.

1. Schools as a Frontline of Defence: Schools can implement educational programs that teach pupils how to see through the lies that abound on the internet, help pupils become more savvy users of technologies and highlight the risks associated with excessive use. By integrating these messages into the curriculum, we can arm children with the knowledge they need to understand the impact of social media and smartphones on their brains and behaviours. Schools can also set policies that completely ban the use of smartphones on school premises and encourage activities that foster face-to-face interaction and deep engagement. My old friend, Damian McBeath, is leading the way in the UK and the positive impact on pupils at his school is already palpable.
2. Government Regulation and Policy: Governments have a role to play in regulating the exposure children have to social media. This could include implementing age restrictions on social media accounts in line with laws on other harmful addictive products and enforcing stricter controls banning tech companies from collecting any data from minors. Governments can no longer pretend to be unsure, we already know the harm this new addiction is causing and have used legislation for many years to prevent children having ready access to alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, and gambling to name just a few. We must not leave it too late to act—the data are in; we know the damage we are allowing to happen to a generation of children. They will not forgive us when they find themselves adult and incapacitated.

Practical Steps for Parents and Communities

While systemic change is essential, there are also immediate actions parents and communities can take to help mitigate this issue:

1. Resist Providing Hardware: Children are not able to purchase smartphones or tablets. It would never occur to a toddler to cry for an iPad if they had never encountered one. Parents can resist the urge and social pressure to purchase these items for their children and can inform friends and family they will not accept any such items as gifts for their children. Children will, of course, grow into adults who exist in a technology filled world. Parents can take careful steps throughout a child’s development to ensure the child does not suffer when they come of age and are able to have these devices – think, for example, of the child who arrives at college never having been allowed a sip of wine at the dinner table and who is, all so often and predictably, the one member of the friendship group who goes off the rails when they first discover alcohol. Restricting a child’s access to technology is not the same as denying its existence or even its huge benefits, it is about ensuring the individual is developmentally ready to cope with technology in their life.
2. Creating Tech-Free Zones and Times: Establish areas in the home, like the dinner table or bedrooms, where smartphones and other digital devices are simply not allowed for any member of the family, including the adults. Set specific times during the day when everyone in the family disconnects from technology to focus on real-world interactions and activities.
3. Encouraging Real-World Engagement: Foster environments where children can develop social skills, creativity, and focus through non-digital means. Encourage activities that require sustained attention, such as reading, playing sports, or engaging in creative arts.
4. Modelling Healthy Digital Habits: Parents must model the behaviour they want to see in their children. This means being mindful of their own screen time and demonstrating the value of taking breaks, setting boundaries, and engaging in face-to-face communication. The parent who sits in a restaurant glued to their mobile phone while their family eats a meal around them sends a signal to their children that being present is not important – they should not then be surprised if their child grows into a socially awkward adult, incapable of meaningful human connection.
5. Leveraging Parental Controls and Digital Tools: Use parental controls and apps designed to limit screen time and monitor usage. While these tools are not a complete solution, they can help enforce rules and give parents insight into their children’s digital habits.

A Call to Action: Reclaiming Our Focus and Protecting Our Children

The influence of technology on our children’s lives is profound and, left unchecked, will continue to shape their development in ways that may not be reversible. It is not just about limiting screen time; it’s about fundamentally rethinking how we allow technology to interact with young minds.

Schools and governments should step up to regulate and educate, but the responsibility also falls on each of us to model healthier behaviour and create environments where children can thrive without the constant pull of digital distractions. By taking these steps together, we can begin to reclaim our focus, protect our children, and ensure that technology serves to enhance our lives rather than diminish them.

Now is the time to act. Let us push for a future where our children are free to grow, learn, and interact without the constraints of an ever-present digital world. Together, we can break the cycle of addiction and build a society that values depth, connection, and well-being over engagement metrics and screen time.

Conclusion

Social media has immense potential to connect us and foster meaningful dialogue. However, the current model, driven by engagement metrics and profit motives, often undermines our ability to focus and live fulfilling lives. The insights of Johann Hari, Jonathan Haidt, Jean Twenge, and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and others highlight the need for a fundamental re-evaluation of how we interact with these platforms. It is time for technology companies to design with intention and for users to engage with awareness. Only then can social media truly serve as a tool for growth, connection, and positive societal change.

Addressing Common Counterarguments

Following the Tweet I posted last month, which led to the writing of this blog, several people pointed out the benefits of social media and smartphones.  I feel it is useful to include here some commentary in response.

Many people argue that social media and smartphones are essential tools in today’s world, providing numerous benefits that should not be overlooked. I will briefly examine a few of these points and consider how they can coexist with a more mindful and regulated approach to technology use.

1. Social Media as a Tool for Connection and Learning:

One of the most frequently cited benefits of social media is its ability to connect people across distances and provide access to a wealth of information and learning resources. For many, social media is a vital platform for maintaining relationships, networking, and even for professional development. It offers a space for community building, especially for marginalised groups who might not find support in their immediate environment.

Counterpoint: While these benefits are undeniable, the key issue is how these platforms are used and who is using them. For children and adolescents, who are still developing cognitively and emotionally, unrestricted access to social media can lead to negative outcomes such as increased anxiety, depression, and decreased attention span. Therefore, my call for action is not about eliminating social media entirely but ensuring that it is used in a way that supports healthy development. Educational programs and parenting that instil in children an ability to analyse claims and navigate through life with strong mental health can ready those children to become powerful adult users of technology, making more informed choices about their online interactions and ensuring future technologies contribute positively to humanity.

2. Technology is Essential for Modern Education and Future Careers:

Another argument is that digital skills are crucial in today’s world, and familiarity with social media and smartphones is an important part of modern education and future career success. Advocates argue that restricting access to these technologies could leave children unprepared for the demands of the digital economy.

Counterpoint: While digital literacy is indeed important, there is a distinction between understanding how to use technology effectively and being constantly engaged with social media. Schools and parents can foster digital skills without allowing unrestricted access to social media. For instance, teaching coding, digital design, or the ethical use of information technology equips children with valuable skills without exposing them to the potentially harmful effects of social media. Moreover, using well designed technology for educational purposes does not require the same level of engagement with social media platforms, which are designed primarily for entertainment and engagement, not education.

3. Self-Regulation and Personal Responsibility:

Some argue that the focus should be on teaching individuals, including children, to self-regulate their use of technology rather than imposing restrictions. This view emphasises personal responsibility and suggests that with the right guidance, children can learn to use social media and smartphones in moderation.

Counterpoint: While self-regulation is a valuable skill, expecting children and teenagers, who are still developing self-control and decision-making skills, to regulate their use of addictive platforms is unrealistic. As research has shown, even adults struggle with self-regulation when it comes to technology designed to capture and hold attention. Therefore, for younger users, it is more effective to create environments that limit exposure and gradually introduce them to responsible use of technology as they mature. This approach aligns with practices in other areas, such as alcohol or driving, where access is restricted until an appropriate level of maturity is reached.

4. The Role of Social Media in Current Events and Civic Engagement:

Social media is often praised for its role in promoting civic engagement and providing real-time information about current events. It can be a powerful tool for social change, enabling movements and amplifying voices that might otherwise be unheard.

Counterpoint: While social media has indeed played a role in amplifying important social movements, this benefit must be weighed against the risks, especially for younger users. Exposure to constant streams of distressing news, misinformation, and divisive content can be overwhelming and harmful, particularly for children and teenagers. Teaching young people how to critically evaluate the information they encounter online and fostering discussions about media literacy and civic responsibility can ensure that they are informed and engaged without being negatively impacted by the more harmful aspects of social media.

References

1. Hari, Johann. Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention – and How to Think Deeply Again. Bloomsbury Publishing, 2022.
2. Newport, Cal. Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World. Grand Central Publishing, 2016.
3. Newport, Cal. Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World. Portfolio, 2019.
4. Turkle, Sherry. Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other. Basic Books, 2011.
5. Turkle, Sherry. Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age. Penguin Press, 2015.
6. Carr, Nicholas. The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains.W. Norton & Company, 2010.
7. Haidt, Jonathan. Research articles, speeches, and essays on social media and its impact on society and mental health. (Note: Specific books by Haidt were not referenced in this blog. Haidt’s work referenced here pertains to his published research, speeches, and essays.)
8. Twenge, Jean. iGen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy – and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood. Atria Books, 2017.
9. Harris, Tristan. Center for Humane Technology publications and public talks on the ethical implications of social media design. (Note: Tristan Harris’s work referenced here pertains to his contributions as a public advocate and thought leader, not specific books.)
10. Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly. Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. Harper & Row, 1990.
11. Alter, Adam. Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked. Penguin Press, 2017.
12. Lanier, Jaron. Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now. Henry Holt and Co., 2018.
13. O’Neil, Cathy. Weapons of Math Destruction: How Big Data Increases Inequality and Threatens Democracy. Crown Publishing Group, 2016.
14. Zuckerman, Ethan. Mistrust: Why Losing Faith in Institutions Provides the Tools to Transform Them.W. Norton & Company, 2021.